Silence

I am sorry I have been silent.  With the holiday and all the doctor’s visits my life has just become too much to handle.

My levels continue to rise.  On Saturday it was 517 and they scheduled another ultrasound and more bloodwork for Tuesday.  They are hoping with the rate of how they are rising that they could at least locate where it is which would decide what kind of intervention is needed at this point to help.

Mentally I am a disaster.  I just want this to be over so I can get on with my life and try to grieve.  As much as I wanted these babies it is hard to hear myself say that.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.

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UPDATE:  Received another call from my doctor…she personally called me from her cell phone.  Apparently my tubes and life are at risk at this point and if they can’t find anything tomorrow I have to get a second opinion the following day…at the earliest tomorrow we should have some answers on what to do or where it is located but it may not be until Wednesday.

14 thoughts on “Silence

  1. I’m so sorry to hear this–this is awful and pure torture!

    I’m amazed they haven’t been able to locate anything–I really hope this gets resolved soon so you can move on and grieve!

    So many hugs!!

  2. Thinking of you. My numbers also continued to rise with no proof on ultrasound. The uncertainty is devastating. They suspected ectopic but nothing ever happened. It’s heartbreaking and that damn sliver of hope lingers without your volition. *hugs*

  3. Oh my god. I am so sorry you are going through this terrible time. I hope that they can sort everything out soon safely, and that you can start to move on soon. Thinking of you lots xxx

  4. holy moly lady, I am keeping you in my thoughts. I know it was not supposed to be this way, you are one strong cookie. Lots of love and hugs. Xx

  5. I’m so sorry this keeps dragging on and doesn’t allow you to grieve and begin to move forward. I hope they find something so they can safely intervene. Hugs!

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