Third Times’ a Charm! (fertility meds discount info included)


I cannot believe how completely enthusiastic I am at this very moment.

Yesterday was our review appointment, and when I say it couldn’t have gone any better…it couldn’t have gone any better!

I swear my doctor was reading my mind…every question I had, every comment I wanted to make, every suggestion I wanted to make…done…covered…she amazes me!  I got everything I wanted and then some!

Here’s what’s going on in my life…and I’ll be giving some great info on discounted fertility medication through a program so stay tuned…

Yesterday I started BCP and I will be taking that until August 18th (the day of my godson’s christening!).

On Wednesday August 7th I will be going in for the hysteroscopy.

On Friday August 16th I will be going in for a fasting blood draw to create a mother’s serum (since that seemed to help with the last cycle) and an ultrasound to make sure that the BCP takes care of the 3cm cyst they found yesterday.

On Friday August 23rd I will have my baseline appointment for round #3.

What’s different this time?  Not much…we are still doing the antagonist protocol as I respond awesome to that.  We are kind of combining round 1 and 2 together…round 1 started me at a higher dose of Gonal-F and weened me off of it, round 2 had the low dose HCG which is being replaced by Menopour (which they gave me for free as a donation! Thank God!), We aren’t going to even attempt the co-culture since the serum alone did fantastic.  This time we are adding in assisted hatching as the benefits far outweigh the risks…and for $300 and a boost in the success rate, why not?

She’s checking my thyroid levels with yesterday’s bloodwork, I have always been in the perfectly normal range but she wants to make sure that I am below a 2.5 as this is proven to increase the success rates.  I am a 2.72 as of 2012 so she wanted to recheck to see if it came down at all, if not she will prescribe something to help.

My ovarian reserve looks phenomenal…a good number is >1 and I am >3.

Overall she says that my body does EXACTLY what it is supposed to do, we just have to get the embryos to keep on growing…the quality is excellent so there is no question that this can’t be done…this WILL be done!

I was also given information on discounted fertility medications through a program for people who pay out of pocket.  It’s called the Compassionate Care Program, it only saves on certain medications…I use Gonal-F and we can save up to 75% depending on our application…I’ll be submitting it hopefully tonight or tomorrow morning and it takes approximately 1 week for a response…income does need to be proven so we will be attaching our 1040 from last year.

To find the application for this program you can either visit http://fertilitylifelines.com/fertility-support/saving-on-fertility-treatment or call 1-866-LETS TRY.

I can’t believe how awesome everything went…it’s like I had a little angel watching us to make sure NOTHING went wrong.

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Wish us luck!


Today is our review appointment…I’m surprisingly calm and actually looking forward to it.  I know the last time I had a review appointment I was a mess…with our first failed cycle.

I’m going into this meeting today KNOWING that this can work for us…it did work for us, it was just a random event in the coding that caused things to go wrong.

I’m going in there hoping to get some idea of when we will be starting again.  I’m going in there to see how my doctor thinks I responded to the new protocol and to see if she thinks any changes should be made.

After we are done we will be finding a way to finance this…whether through the company that handles their financing or as a personal loan through our bank…we just have to figure out who has the lower interest rate as we will be paying it off in a much shorter term than what is offered.

BOB, I feel you with me right now…thank you for keeping me together for this ❤

Tomorrow


Well, now tomorrow is a few things.  Tomorrow I have to get blood work done to make sure that I am in the negative range (which I know I am in now).  We will also get our review appointment done to see if there is any changes that need to be made.  Also, I will be getting my prescription for birth control.

I will know “for sure” (although there’s never any certainty in this IVF world) when we are starting our next round hopefully sometime this week.  I hope it’s only a month away but if the doctor feels we need one more month then it is all her decision…she makes miracles happen and I trust everything she has to say.

We have lots of preparation that needs to be done from now to then so we are going to do that way ahead of time.

I can’t believe we are doing this again…but at the same time I have such a good feeling about this next round.

An Unexpected Bout of Happiness


It’s been taking me a while to get back to my happy, normal self.  I am, for the most part, happy again, although I do think I need to change what I consider my “normal” as I don’t think that will ever be the same…I always think about my BOB and tomorrow will probably be a not so happy day as it will be one month to the day that he was taken from me in a tiny room of a surgical center.  I want to keep the good memories alive with him so that will push me on to fight for this again.  I have the strength to do that and I can’t wait for Tuesday’s review appointment to see what the next cycle will bring.

But this post isn’t about IVF…rather, it’s about a lovely phone call that brought an unexpected bout of happiness to me.  Yesterday, my brother called me as I was driving home from the rental car place (finally getting my car fixed!).  He had asked me if I was interested in becoming a Godmother.  Heck yeah I was interested!  I love this little boy very much and I am not a Godmother to any child yet…this is my first and what a great one to start on.  There were two dates in mind, one in August and one in September and he had asked my opinion on when…I prefer August as I do not know what September will bring yet (IVF-wise) but either case I will try my damnedest to make it work.

What a lovely thing.  A new experience for me and hopefully I can live up to the Godmotherly duties with little Ben. ❤

Cracking the Whip…


Today is the day.  Today starts the new us.  Cutting out the bad, only bringing in the good.  Healthy food only (with an occasional cheat day to satisfy Joseph…but I will most likely not be the one wanting to cheat) from here on out.  Caffeine has completely been cut out. Alcohol consumptions is limited to once a week (if I even care to even have a drink at that point…sorry wine, there are more important things in life than your deliciousness). Negativity is being released to bring in only positives.  Joe said that when I was in my positive phase that it seemed like everything seemed to go well, I didn’t get angry, I didn’t let anything bother me…I was more calm.  He has since started to try this out and says that it is working…well Duh, Darlin…that’s why I did it!

So…now that my major distraction of my grandfather’s surprise 80th birthday is over (which was awesome and he had no clue! Thank you to all the amazing effort by everyone!) I can focus solely on getting my crap in gear.  My head is back in the game 100%. We are getting the spare room emptied in order to finish it the way we want it to be and ready for baby furniture when the time is right.  We are making progress on small projects around the house that we wanted to get done.

Next Tuesday is my review appointment and hopefully we can get a better idea of when we can start up again and if she is going to just want to jump right in with out the use of BC or do the same protocol we did last time.  I also really hope my levels are negative this week…I have a feeling it is going to be one more week but it would be nice to get back to the right level so we can get the ball rolling on the next round.  I am actually getting excited to start the next round.  We have made it further than we ever have before with the last one and I am PRAYING that this time I get my little rainbow baby.  Third time is a charm, right?

 

Fighting for my Rainbow Baby


Firstly, I know some people who read my blog are not going to know what a Rainbow Baby is…so, here’s the definition:

A “rainbow baby” is a baby that is born following a miscarriage or still birth.

In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.

(I’m crying a little with this…mom probably knows why based on a picture I sent her a couple weeks ago…)

We received the results of the chromosomal/genetic testing on the baby.  It turns out that there was nothing genetically wrong with BOB; however, there was a chromosomal anomaly with the 45th chromosome…the “sex” gene…it came up 45,X which means that BOB was missing either an X or a Y and more than 99% of the time this leads to miscarriage (this is also known as Turner Syndrome).  This is a random event that occurs when the DNA is being coded…there is NOTHING either one of us could have done to prevent this…this is nothing that is passed down from either of us…it just happened randomly.  BOB still has no gender, but I have come to terms with that…BOB will always be BOB and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  This whole situation truly sucks; however the good news that came out of this was there was nothing that came from either mine or Joe’s genes that caused this which means that there is nothing wrong with either of us (genetically)…and that’s a good thing.  This is one of the most common causes of miscarriage and even two perfectly healthy, normal, fertile people experience this…so…yeah…they say not to be concerned but you can’t tell an infertile couple not to worry…it’s like telling a dog not to piss on a fire hydrant…it’s just NOT going to happen.

I was down in the dumps a little bit yesterday because just knowing that there was something wrong with my baby was hard to hear…I was trying to find the good in this and now that I have I can come to terms with the whole situation.  Now it’s time for me to step up and start fighting.  God willing, I will have my rainbow baby.

After the weekend is over and my distractions have ended I will be focusing all of my time on preparing for this.  I need to come up with a list of questions for my doctor on our review appointment (7/30).  I need to start getting the medication in order in preparation of the next cycle.  I need to make sure that my house is only stocked with good things.  I want to try an all natural diet to make sure I am the healthiest I can be for my baby.  I need to make sure Joe is healthy, too, so he doesn’t end up back in the hospital and scaring the ever living hell out of me again.  I need to get active so that I can stay active during pregnancy.

I have seen infertility, treatments, and the costs associated with it break apart marriages…and I don’t understand how.  I have never felt closer to my husband than I do right now.  I thought the same thing during the first round, and then the second round, and then when I was pregnant, and now going through this loss together has just solidified that there is no tearing us apart.  We are both fighting for the same thing and I will not stop until I give my husband what he deserves.

I love you, Darling.  I love you BOB.  I will not stop fighting.

Another edition of Terrible Tuesdays


Today was another blood test. I asked that they call Joe because I am just not too thrilled to keep receiving the calls with the numbers…he can handle it from now on. I hope this is the last but who knows.

I remembered to ask the two things I needed to. 1. Do we get a review appointment – yes. We actually scheduled it today, it’s on July 30th at 2:30. At this meeting we will get our doctor’s opinions on how she thinks the cycle went treatment-wise. Any concerns she may have. What the next steps are. What medication changes (if any) I will have. and 2. Have the results of the chromosome/genetic testing come in yet – no. The nurse seemed concerned that it is taking this long to come in so she is going to follow up with the lab today to see if they have any results. If they do, my doctor will call Joe with all the information we have been waiting to find out.

So, I keep my fingers crossed that we get some kind of information today…this waiting thing is horrible. Everything is waiting in this world of infertility. EVERYTHING.

We have some distractions today planned, getting some work done on the house, emptying the spare room out and getting the furniture ready to be picked up on Thursday. It couldn’t be going to a better person…I’m glad she wanted it. Wednesday, if we have all the house work done, we are going to walk around Tyler State Park to get some air and get out of the house. There’s no use sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves…we need to keep our minds focused. I’m focusing all my attention on preparing myself for the next round. It’s keeping me sane.

If I get any results I will update this…hope everyone has a wonderful day ❤

Edit:
Hcg is at 68 – a week or two more of tests hopefully
Genetic testing from BOB: Turner Syndrome (45,X)