Freddie and Jason ❤️


Today I met my babies. Both survived the thaw with one more in the freezer.

I proudly introduce Freddie and Jason, both high quality blasts with one eager to get out of its shell

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Smile, there’s only one more sleep to go!


Tomorrow I get to be reunited with my babies!  Freddie and Jason, I can’t wait for you to move into your new home.  I promise it is a lot warmer than that freezer you have been living in for the past couple months.

I think my mama is more anxious than I am.  She’s going to be surprised when she really does get a picture of Joe’s balls instead of an update tomorrow…she was warned! lol

I’m not really anxious, I am excited.  I am also used to this waiting game…today my wait is for a phone call letting me know what time I am to arrive at the hospital tomorrow.  Tomorrow’s wait will be in the waiting room with a full bladder and also waiting to hear that our babies survived the thaw.  After that is a long wait until beta day.  I know all of these things and have some how come to terms with them.  I’m excited but relaxed.  I’m hopeful and envisioning this working.  I can see it in my head and in every action of every day for the last several weeks.

I keep thinking of my BOB.  I would have been 28 weeks right now with him.  He keeps giving me little reminders that he is here with me.  Playing the right songs at just the right times.  Making my heart beat faster and slower at the same time when I think of him.

Tomorrow is going to be a wonderful day.

For BOB:

That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.

Seeing Rainbows


We are on to the final countdown.  Three more sleeps before I am reunited with my beautiful babies again…the anticipation is ridiculous!  I am super excited.

My sister sent me a text yesterday, she said the sun wasn’t out but she had a rainbow on her ceiling and she took a picture and sent it to me.  I teared a bit and was so happy she thought of me.  I’ll take that as another sign!

I have a question for all you ladies who have their BFP through IVF…how many days of “bed rest” or restricted activity did you give yourself? I have a wedding to attend on Saturday and I just want to make sure that 48 hours of restricted activity is sufficient.

Here’s a picture of the rainbow my sister sent me:

rainbow

Countdown: 6 Days


Have I really not written in a week?  Wow.  My boss has been keeping me pretty busy at work and I am totally exhausted when I come home.  I had a great weekend with my family last weekend, I saw most of the nieces and nephews, played, and passed out while trying to watch a movie.  I’m a light weight! 🙂

Today I went in for my third and final check to make sure I am all ready for Thursday, which I am!!! Lining is “GORGEOUS!” says my favorite nurse.  The plan is to thaw 2 of the 3 blastocicles and the third will be on back up just in case.

Awesome news, no more stabby stabs in my belly every morning at 6am.  That is wonderful.  I am to stay on estrogen [now 4x/day] and tomorrow I am to introduce progesterone into the mix [2x/day]…watch out, here comes superboobs!  You’ll start seeing her in a few days.

This weekend is going to fly by…tomorrow we may/may not end up in Jersey to go watch a race…we are still debating that and Sunday we are putting the house back together after the construction project and going through some of the goodies we pulled from Joe’s grandparents house.  Before I know it it is going to be Halloween and I’m going to have two beautiful blastocysts gently placed up my nono into my nice cushy ute via catheter.  Romantic, no?  I always dress up for the occasion so I look the part…I always ask if I look good enough to get knocked up and the answer is always yes 🙂

Here’s a fun little thing, I can kind of guess based on reading everyone’s own blogs approximately where they are located…if you leave me a comment on here would you mind listing your location?  It would be so neat if I could find someone close to me 🙂 – I am in the northeast suburbs of Philadelphia, in a land called Warminster!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Joe’s Grandma <3


A couple weeks ago Joe’s grandparents were moved from their home in North East Philly to a nursing home.  It was sad for them as they had to come to the realization that they were no longer capable of taking care of themselves and submit to allowing others to take care of them.  The great part of it is that it is no longer a 45 minute drive to visit them, they are literally 10 minutes away now.  No more crazy Philly traffic to deal with, no more struggling to get a parking spot.

Yesterday we decided to head on over and surprise his grandparents with a dinner visit.  We caught them just as they were coming out of their room and heading to the dining room…his grandmother started crying she was so happy to see us. (It was also her 94th (??) birthday, it’s hard to keep track of her age since she can never get it right either lol).

A little background on this, over the last few years, both of their memories have been taking a turn for the worse.  The first year I met them they were able to drive and move around and remember my name, now they can’t drive, they need help doing daily tasks, they know who I am but never remember my name, and his grandmother especially can’t get the dates right.  It’s like she thinks that Joe is her brother sometimes and she’s a child…but then she snaps out of it.

Joe’s grandmother cannot remember much but one thing she held onto was that I was pregnant once.  She asked me yesterday if I was going to try to get pregnant again and kept on saying she is praying everything works out for us.  The sad part was during the few weeks I was pregnant I never got a chance to see her and tell her in person, she learned of the pregnancy and then the miscarriage through Joe’s mom.  I was touched that with all the things she forgets she didn’t forget about this major event in our lives and she continues to pray that we will have a child.  I will take that as another sign that this round WILL work.

It was lovely seeing his grandparents, it’s just sad to see how quick you can go from being completely cognitive to needing help with everything in just a few short years.  We’ll be visiting more often, and bringing our own food because the portions were just too small for me lol….and his grandmother misses home cooking!

Oh well, gotta finish my day at work and get ready for a road trip to see my family.  Have a wonderful weekend!

Two Weeks


This was the slowest quickest week ever.  I feel like each day dragged on but somehow I blinked and it is Thursday.  I’m not sure how that happened, but I will take it!

I’m happy to state that in exactly two weeks (barring any catastrophe’s) I will be going in for my FET.  I am super excited. I am super hopeful. This is going to be it.

Calculating things already it looks like they would arrive in my mother’s birthday month which would be the absolute best present I could give her.

Going into this I feel calm, I have a few tricks up my sleeves, and I plan on wearing the same exact outfit I wore during our Successful round…not only to honor BOB but also as one of my lucky socks.

I’m going to try the wearing socks to keep my feet warm thus keeping my uterus warm in the week of and following the transfer and drinking room temperature water rather than cold water before the transfer.  I need a cozy home for my little babies.

I did receive my calendar of events and the way it is played out right now, the transfer is still tentatively set for Halloween and my test day falls on a day that I will be at Temple University all day for a class so I won’t find out the results until 430.  It’s going to be the longest day ever.

Freddy and Jason (as we will be calling them to suit the Halloween theme), mama really needs you to stick around.  I need to be able to do what I was destined to do…be a mommy.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, I’ll be traveling north to see my family ❤

Remembrance, Lit Candles, and Feast Day


Yesterday was a very emotional day for me, I felt as if I was on the verge of tears all day.  Yesterday was Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day (the whole month of October is dedicated to Pregnancy and Infant Loss but yesterday was the day of remembrance).

Yesterday at 7pm I lit 4 candles, one to represent each round of IVF we have gone through and all the embryos that didn’t survive and one to represent my angel baby.  I miss him so much and would give anything to have him back with me.  I hope all of our angel babies loved the wave of light created by everyone lighting a candle in honor of our angels we love so much.

Getting ready for the wave of light

Getting ready for the wave of light

My contribution to the wave of light.  Also included my last ultrasound picture of BOB

My contribution to the wave of light. Also included my last ultrasound picture of BOB

That brings me to today.  Another emotional day.  Today is the feast day of St. Gerard, Patron Saint of Fertility and Motherhood.  Today I pray to St. Gerard that I may be blessed with a child/children of my own and that my little blasts that are going to be transferred on Halloween will stay safely in my womb until July when we will become parents for the first time.

St Gerard

O good Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God and Wonderworker of our day, I call upon thee and seek thy aid. Thou who on earth didst always fulfill God’s designs, help me to do the holy Will of God. Beseech the Master of Life, from Whom all paternity proceedeth, to render me fruitful in offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life and heirs to the Kingdom of His Glory in the world to come. Amen.

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Keeping all those who have lost their babies and those who would give anything to become a mommy or daddy in my prayers today ❤