Unfortunately for me I may be face to face with the woman who caused so much anxiety throughout my entire pregnancy and after the baby was born.  The woman who treated me like garbage and lied about me to all her family and turned everyone against me, rather, us. Because of her the baby will not know all of his family members.

I am having crazy anxiety over the possibility of seeing her.  I hate everything she put me through.  I hate what she did to her son.  I hate how she treated both of us.  But because of her we now live very close to my family who has helped us so much so I can’t be completely upset.  I just fear that all those feelings over the last year and a half are going to come back and I’m not going to be able to handle it.  That she’s going to say something to me that will cause an internal melt down.  I’m scared.  I can’t deny her the ability to see her grandson, however I can protect him if I feel attacked again.  If I feel there is no sincerity in her visit. I doubt I will be able to sleep tonight.  Anxiety is very high tonight.  This is not a good night.

Baby Joey – 10 months!

Where is the time going?  I’m planning his first birthday party, making preparations for his 1 year old pictures, and watching as he tries to walk.  My baby is growing up so quickly!

This month was FULL of developments.

WE FINALLY HAVE TEETH! Two, to be precise, with at least one more looking like is very close.  He popped two bottom teeth at the same time in the first week of the new year.  He keeps playing with them and now all he wants is real food and not purees. lol

He went from crawling to standing and cruising and attempting to walk right after his 9 month birthday and now all he wants to do is be vertical.  Always.  He’s knee crawling and transitions from belly to sit in a split second instead of thinking about it.  It’s funny watching because it’s like he’s always done it.

He’s always been a verbal baby but we are making new sounds which include “nana” (he’s saying nono lol I say it a lot), the G is more of a hard G rather than a throat sound saying “gaga.” Dada is still his go to word and can say “mama,” & “baba” we are working on “poppop” but that may take a bit.

He’s picking up on signs really good now.  He can mimic like no other.  He’s remembering some without me showing him so I just have to say “say mama” or “say more” or “say hi” or “say cheese” or “give me the signal” (if you have ever watched Team America: World Police you’ll know exactly what this is).

It’s been quite the month.  His first Christmas was better than I could have imagined. So many people, so much fun.  His poppop and girlfriend came up for New Years and we had a traditional dinner for the first day of the New Year with mom, dad, grandma, uncle Billy, poppop, and Barb.  It was perfect.

Oh! And a huge achievement- he’s off Zantac! We are out of the acid reflux stage!

I’ve been planning his first birthday party, it will be at home and immediate family only as I want to keep it small this year due to school and work restraints and I want it to be a special day.  It’s going to be a Mr. One-derful theme with mustache’s and bow-ties galore!



Baby Joey – 9 months old

How is my baby growing up so quickly???  It is almost time for his first Christmas already!

All throughout Joey’s 8 month we’ve been weaning him off of Nutramigen to see if the lactose intolerance has been outgrown.  Guess what.  This time the weaning was a success!!! We’ve even integrated dairy items into his solid foods including yogurt puffs, string cheese, and he even had a few tastes of panna cotta without any major disasters.  He does reflux a little with the dairy since he’s adjusting but nowhere near the reaction we previously got when attempting to switch back to a gentler milk based formula.  I call that a win!  We’re keeping him on the Zantac for at least another month to let the adjustment to lactose sink in and then we’ll start that weaning process.  I think my baby is going to do just fine 🙂

His school put on a Christmas play on the 17th that was adorable, all the little babies and toddlers with their instruments and singing.  So cute.

He’s holding himself up on objects, trying to stand up from a crawling position with the butt alllll the way up in the air.  He can pull himself up from sitting in the pack and play.  He’s cruising around chasing the cats but gets excited and falls after a few steps.  I just stick close so I can catch him…I want him to explore all for himself so he can learn.  I like watching him try to figure things out for himself.

STILL NO TEETH…hopefully his Christmas wish for 2 front teeth comes true…still have a few days left!

He’s eating big people food like a champ…gumming everything lol.  String cheese is by far his favorite.

I can’t wait until he gets to open his Christmas presents – lots of items to help him develop his standing and walking skills, fine motor skills, and a lot of cause and effect play.  This is going to be the best Christmas ever!




37 weeks in vs 37 weeks out – last picture 2 days before he was born



What my 9 month old really wants for Christmas…

I was inspired by an article I read on huffington post to showcase what my 9 month old son really wants for Christmas.  

You can view this article Here

I stuck to a very small and simple list of gifts for my 9 month old because he is truly entertained by everything except what is purchased specifically for him, especially items that don’t cost anything at all.

If Joey were to write a Christmas list to Santa of the top 10 items he wishes for it would include:

1. This pack of tissues he has been playing with for the past 3 weeks.  

2.  This glittery ornament.

3.  The back of the dining room chairs.  

4.  The only spec on the table.

5. These boxes 

6. The vent in the hall (and of course the edge of the carpet too…let’s call this a combo gift)

7. The cats food and water bowls

8. Whatever is under the table (usually nothing, sometimes a cat)

9. Any kitchen drawer

10. This big shiny drawer of coldness

Now I challenge you, if your infant or toddler could write a letter to Santa of the top 10 items s/he wishes for Christmas, what would it include? 

Merry Christmas xoxo

Sisterhood of World Bloggers Award

I can’t believe it took me two months to see the comment left by Becoming Mother, but I am honored to be nominated for the Sisterhood of World Bloggers award!  I’ve been completely swamped recently because of work, school, and my newest career of being a full-time mommy so I’ve been a little behind on posts but that should fix itself in 10 months when I finish up my MBA!  Thank you very much Sharon 🙂

Here are the questions sent to me:

  1. What has been your most visited post on your blog and why do you think people flocked to it?  3dp3dt Oh Progesterone! is my most visited blog post of all time.  I think this is the most visited as 1. it was leading to our first successful round of IVF, 2 there are a lot of crazy Dr. Google symptom searchers, and 3 in the land of infertility we come back to a lot of interesting posts in a cyclical manner.  It is crazy to think now, though, that my blog posts have transformed from crazy symptom spotting, injection hating, hormone induced, desperate postings to updates with the baby, my crazy life as a mom, and so many pictures of my handsome little man!
  2. What is the best way to spend $50 (and yes, you have to spend it!)? On the baby, of course!  This child grows like a weed and I am forever at Carters buying him clothing.  If it had to be on something fun, it would be for a $50 date.  It will go a longer way if it is an in-house date: Movie, Wine, Homemade dinner.  Grandma babysitter.  Boom.
  3. Where do you usually write? What does your space look like? I write wherever I have a few minutes of spare time.  Sometimes it is in my office right after I finish up work or even homework for the day, sometimes it is on my phone in the bathtub when Joe lets me get a few minutes of relaxation time and I need to write down what is on my mind.
  4. What is the funniest thing your child/children have done recently?  The faces that my little man makes…it is just hilarious.  He scrunches up his nose and makes kissy noises or pop noises…I keep trying to catch it on the camera and he just stops as soon as he sees it.  He’s also doing this “slow roll” now where he’s rolling at a snails pace because he doesn’t want to hit his head off the hardwood floor.  He keeps practicing while he is crawling and it is hilarious.  Also, he discovered he can bounce him self in his little bouncer recliner thing we put him in after he finishes his bottle for some upright time (thank you acid reflux!) and if you’ve ever seen the video where the dad catches the child bouncing really fast and hard you’ll understand why it is so hilarious.  That video will be in the 9 month update 🙂
  5. What kind words would you share with a first-time expecting mother?  Take it allll in.  Pregnancy was the longest and shortest time of my life.  I truly enjoyed being pregnant and miss it so much.  Coming from a mom that may never have the chance to be pregnant again, it is a part of my life I wish I spent a little more time embracing but unfortunately I could not due to school and some unhealthy people in my life.  I wish I had that part of my life back.
  6. Why did you start blogging?  I started blogging as a way to vent about infertility struggles, to connect with others who had a not so pleasant TTC journey, and to support all the women who truly want to become mothers and either are still trying, pregnant, have had their babies themselves, through a surrogate, or even through adoption/fostering.  I love everything maternal.
  7. What types of blogs catch your attention?  Infertility, MC, and Parenting after infertility – I can truly connect to these women.
  8. Someone brought you your favorite snack and it is…Cheese.  I love cheese.  If you brought me wine, too, I’d kiss you 🙂
  9. Coffee, tea, or something else? Coffee…and wine. LOL
  10. You can solve one global problem. What is it? Health.  Global health is all inclusive and is one that should be focused on as the world is our children’s future.  Lets fight disease, displacement, and world hunger.  I’m pretty passionate about a lot of topics but I’m astonished at how much suffering is in the world and a lot of it stems from global health.

Nominees, if you’d like to participate, here are the rules:

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site
  2. Put the award logo on your blog
  3. Answer the ten questions sent to you
  4. Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer
  5. Nominate seven other blogs (let them know!)

And here are my questions for you:

  1. What is your biggest pet peeve?
  2. What is your secret indulgence?
  3. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
  4. What is your favorite song and why?
  5. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
  6. If you could have dinner with one living celebrity who would it be and why?
  7. How has social media changed your life?
  8. What have you learned about yourself since blogging?
  9. What is your hidden talent?
  10. Name 3 things someone close may not know about you.

I’ll be tagging my nominations by the end of the week!  (It’s almost time for the baby to come home from school!)

Baby Joey – 8 Months

Sorry this is 4 days late but it’s been a crazy week here on the home front.  We’ve been going through a full heater install, with duct work and all, and a whole house humidifier and air purifier.

We visited pop pop on his 8 month birthday in Philly.

These last 8 months just blew by and this little guy is a real mover now.  He’s been crawling for a couple weeks but he’s super fast now.  The cats underestimate his speed and it is pretty funny when they get caught!  I’m giving him his space to figure out things but intervening when I sense he could get hurt.  He’s a champion sitter and can seamlessly transition from sitting to crawling but he still has some tendencies to topple over when he gets excited.  As long as he is not near anything that can hurt him I let him go (if it is not on hardwood floor, that is) so he knows he has to control his movements to prevent the topple.

He started 2 days/week at a daycare that also is a learning center and has already started his permanent educational record which is pretty freaking cool.  Everyone at the facility is very nice and he took a liking to all of them really quick.  There is one little girl in his class that he just loves, too.  Her name is Madison.  He doesn’t wave goodbye to anyone but he waves goodbye to her.

He’s been doing awesome with his food, he’s up to 4 solid meals each day, cereal, fruit, vegetable, cereal with bananas.  I think he had another growth spurt because he just feels so much heavier in the last week and a half and he’s been sleeping a lot.  He seems a tad taller too (which, seriously, I have a toddler not an 8 month old.  He’s in 12 month clothes and I don’t think that is going to last long…)

We started the transition off of Nutramigen.  We are very very slowly introducing GentleEase which has the lactose broken down, just not nearly as much as the Nutramigen so it is definitely a step up.  Last week we did a whole week of 20% GentleEase, 80% Nutramigen with no issues so we moved up to 40% & 60% this week with no issues so far.  We will keep increasing by 20% until he is fully weaned off of it but I have a lot of hope that this is finally happening after several failed attempts.  I think he is old enough, big enough, and functional enough at this point where his body can handle the transition.

Other than that he is just his typical happy self with (still) no teeth. LOL.  I have a feeling this next month is just going to fly by but I also can’t wait for his first Christmas.  We are putting the tree up on Friday 🙂  Can’t wait!



























‘Tis the season to be….self-entitled, narcissistic, complaining grinches?

I just needed to vent a little bit because I can NOT believe what society has come to.  Everyone feels their opinion is, in fact, the ONLY opinion.  Everyone takes everything personally.  Everyone is acting like babies whining about anything that may bother them.  I’m sorry but my baby who has acid reflux and lactose allergies does not cry nearly as much as these self-entitled complainers who are ruining the holiday season for everyone.

Seriously…a red cup is the center of attention right now when there are far worse things in the world that need the exposure than a cup meant to not offend anyone (but still did…).  This red cup of controversy was meant to be a blank canvas for you to write your own holiday story on.  It was one of hope and cheer that everyone has a great holiday season no matter what your beliefs or customs, but instead it was pegged as waging a war on Christmas.  I’d like to wage a war on whatever idiot started that.  How about we make poverty a trending item so that people are more aware of IMPORTANT issues the world faces.  Or about how natural disasters and complex humanitarian emergencies are causing displacement and health issues in the developing countries?  Have we quickly forgotten that image of the drowned Syrian boy?  These are the real issues.  These issues need to be discussed.  These issues need to be trending so that maybe we can figure out how to end or simply just help out one another who is faced with real struggles.

Why is it that we have to walk on egg shells not to offend someone and even our very efforts to try to avoid offending anyone result in an even worse scenario than if we put a damn Christmas tree on a cup?

Now I see in the trending articles that Target has been pegged with being insensitive to people with mental disorders because of a cute play on words on a Christmas shirt.  It says “OCD: Obsessive Christmas Disorder.”  It’s cute.  It’s funny.  And apparently it is now offensive.  I bet whomever started the complaint doesn’t even have the disorder.  That they just wanted to complain to see if they, too, could create a viral complaint based on nonsense.  I have terrible anxiety that only gets worse with age but any chance I get to laugh at my flaws is a good thing.  I don’t want anxiety to define me, I’d rather laugh at my craziness because I know that most of the time I am anxious for no good reason and just can’t control my emotions.

These people grinches are ruining the holiday spirit.  I don’t care what your beliefs are, I will wish you well and practice my own traditions with a smile on my face.

My holiday wish this season is to put an end to nonsensical complaints and make people aware of the real issues of this world.  Hunger, Poverty, Communicable and Non-Communicable Diseases, Natural Disasters, Complex Humanitarian Emergencies, Genocide, Illiteracy, and the Health of the Mother and Child to name a few.  Educate yourself on one of the topics.  There are ways WE can help.  I challenge you to pick a real issue and find a way that YOU can help.  Maybe you can make it a holiday tradition in your family to find a way to help out in some way, wouldn’t it feel good to know that you helped in a real effort to end one of the many issues this world faces?  Our children will inherit what we leave behind, do we want them to be complainers or do we want them to make a difference?  Set a good example people.

Merry Christmas

Happy Hannuka

Joyous Kwanza

Whatever your beliefs or traditions, I hope you have a joyous holiday season.