Unfortunately for me I may be face to face with the woman who caused so much anxiety throughout my entire pregnancy and after the baby was born.  The woman who treated me like garbage and lied about me to all her family and turned everyone against me, rather, us. Because of her the baby will not know all of his family members.

I am having crazy anxiety over the possibility of seeing her.  I hate everything she put me through.  I hate what she did to her son.  I hate how she treated both of us.  But because of her we now live very close to my family who has helped us so much so I can’t be completely upset.  I just fear that all those feelings over the last year and a half are going to come back and I’m not going to be able to handle it.  That she’s going to say something to me that will cause an internal melt down.  I’m scared.  I can’t deny her the ability to see her grandson, however I can protect him if I feel attacked again.  If I feel there is no sincerity in her visit. I doubt I will be able to sleep tonight.  Anxiety is very high tonight.  This is not a good night.


4 thoughts on “Ugh

  1. New reader here:)
    I hope the visit went well, or goes well if it hasn’t happened yet.
    I know how that is. My son has little contact with one grandfather (husband’s father) and has never met the other (my father) because they are both royal pieces of crap. Your son is absolutely adorable!

    • Thank you 😊 it ended up being she didn’t come over. As soon as we got to town the mention of her name threw me in a complete panic attack (I wear a fit but that showed my heart rate increase to 130 while I was shaking from anxiety) so it was decided she wouldn’t be coming over. My husband went over her house and I am still not completely sure what happened since I didn’t get the whole story but it sounded like she will never change or try to be kind to me. He tries to protect me to the point that I am left in the dark to spare my feelings and anxiety but I am trying to teach him that keeping me informed helps, even if he thinks it would hurt me. Its a learning curve at the moment.

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