Birth Preferences

Look at that, you get a double whammy this week!  2 blog posts in one day let alone one week 🙂

Anyways, I wanted to share my Birth Preferences, not Plan, with you all in case you were interested.  I like to call it preferences because nothing ever goes according to plan with us.  When this was titled a “plan” the #1 item on the list was not to be induced – well that got thrown out the window so the word plan was quickly removed and replaced with preferences so I wasn’t disappointed if something else changed.  So…here it is 🙂

Birth Preferences for Mr. & Mrs. Cutri

Our desire is for a safe and calm delivery of our baby. We understand that births are unpredictable and don’t go according to plan but would like our requests met as much as possible. If we need to stray from the preferences we are very receptive to other options to ensure a safe delivery as long as everything is explained calmly to us to aid in informed consent.


  • Please do not allow male nurses or doctors in my room during labor and delivery, this is nonnegotiable as it will send me in a state of panic. The only male I’d like in the room with me during L&D is my husband
  • Would like to be able to have mobility as much as possible, understanding that Pitocin means I’ll have more frequent monitoring I still would like to be able to move around to aid in natural pain relief
  • Would like the access to a hot shower to aid in pain management prior to offering any medications
  • Would like to keep exams to a minimum unless indicators suggest I’m progressing quickly
  • I am receptive to pain management medications but would prefer to take the edge off with Oxygen or less powerful pain medication prior to being offered an epidural so that I can freely move around
  • My mother, Joan, is the only other guest allowed to stay in the room the entire time during labor and delivery. She will be allowed to use her camera as she will be documenting the very beginning of this precious life. Family members can pop in for a visit as long as I am not in active labor (at the nurses’ discretion, of course – I do not want to break any hospital policies regarding visitors)


  • Please assist with instructing support persons on how to apply counter pressure, positioning, and warm compresses
  • I do not want an episiotomy; although I hear they are not generally used anymore.
  • I do not want a vacuum used unless we encounter an emergency situation where it is necessary, please seek consent first.
  • Would like the baby placed on my chest immediately after birth
  • Please wait to cut the cord until it stops pulsing. My husband would like to cut the cord.

After Delivery

  • Baby boy will be circumcised
  • I will be breastfeeding; please do not offer bottles
  • Please do not offer a pacifier
  • If baby needs medical attention one of us will always be present

Cesarean Section

  • I would like to avoid a C-section but if one is medically necessary I would like the reasoning calmly explained so that we can enter into a consent fully informed.
  • Surgeries petrify me so I would prefer to be put under for this procedure.
  • I would like immediate contact with baby as soon as I awaken and am mobile
  • Please double suture incision

** I am NOT allergic to latex

***Allergies to medicine include the entire “cillin” family (penicillin, amoxicillin, etc) and Bactrim

A note to the medical staff:

Our journey to this point has been a long and trying road with multiple failed IVF’s and two devastating miscarriages. This is our first time making it to labor and delivery with a precious baby and I’d like to thank you in advance for calmly keeping our requests in the forefront during this delivery. We understand that nothing ever goes according to plan, especially for us, so if any complications arise we request to have the least invasive treatments presented first so that we have fully informed consent prior to intervention.

We would be remiss if we did not express our gratitude for all that you do both big and small during this adventure we are about to go on. We are very grateful for the medical staff that will be assisting us through this delivery. We also appreciate the professional expertise you ascertained while experiencing the miracle of birth on a daily basis and we hope you understand that after our trying time this is all new to us and we would like to bask in the series of “firsts” we are about to embark on as this may be both our “first” and “last” experience with child birth (God willing it is just the first, though).

Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts in all the assistance you are about to give us and thank you so much for understanding how very important this is to us.

With much gratitude,

Mr. & Mrs. (and baby!) Cutri


15 thoughts on “Birth Preferences

  1. your plan is fabulous but dont say no to bottles or formula on paper. i was on pitocin and had to take an epidural and that didnt get my milk out and flowing right away. needless to say I unknowingly increased the jaundice in my baby, I still blame myself for it. So dont say never, just that you would keep that as a last resort. Also, until you wake up if you God Forbid have a C section, maybe you can ask for skin to skin for the baby with your husband. Also pump pump pump as soon as you give birth.

    • That’s the beauty of preferences, it is not a solid NO, it is a preferred no. The disclaimer suggests everything is negotiable, these are just little wishes in my head for the perfect scenario.

    • oh, and they should be sending my pump in the next week from the medical supply company…that is on my list of items to bring to the induction. I want to learn how to properly used the thing and get the flow going as soon as I possibly can!

  2. this is so great. well done! i have been considering a written out “preference” letter for our L&D staff but didn’t quite know how to go about it. i think you have done this perfectly (in my opinion and for my tastes). thanks for giving me an example to follow as we decided on our plan of action for the big day! good luck girl xo

    • no problem! Good luck writing it, I think I made like 20 different versions of this before I finally came to a final “preference” list lol. I still may edit one or two items because that’s just how I am. I need to just print a few copies and put in my bag and be done with it lol.

  3. Wonderful! As the first person noted about bottles I disagree. If your milk doesnt come in within 4 days or so, then of course you arent going to starve him! But he will be born with a supply to tide him over for a few days.

    Im from canada so things are different but there a couole things I noticed you missed. What about the eye drops and vitamin k shot? We chose to go woth vitamin k shot after borth incase there was any itnernal trauma but we skipped the eye drops as it is only for treating an std from mom and i have been tested and negative for that std. A downside of the eye drops is that it stings and casues baby to have extra blurred vision for a while.
    I also was scared of surgery and had a very similar plan to you. First it was induction i gave in on. Then drugs. I tried gas, a shot if gravol in the bum, then i had to have an epideral as I was sent to emergency c section. Here is what i didnt expect. The epideral did not hurt. And because i was so exhausted from labouring so long, it put me into a state of euphoria. I was so calm during the c section and was so thankful to be awake and see my little man. My wife had skin to skin right after c section while i was in recovery. I would recomend you request that or else they might keep baby!

    Good luck, this is going to be great!

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