It is getting really close to beta day. Like 2 more sleeps close. I’m nervous, excited, happy, and a big ball of hurryupandgetthisthefuckoverwith anxious.
I’m super positive that this has worked. I’m not going to symptom spot, I’m not going to analyze how I feel. I’m just going to say that I know that this worked. It had to have. (and no, I did not test at home…me and HPT’s do not get along…)
Sorry I haven’t written in a while, its been super busy at work which has been keeping my mind off of everything and has been so nice.
Speaking of things being nice…this time around we didn’t tell anyone we were doing this again. It got super frustrating being asked on a consistent basis by dozens of people in person, via text, email, PM, etc how I was feeling…every minute of every day. It amped up my anxiety into over-drive. This time it has been SO nice not having to deal with that. It’s also going to be awesome to get that surprise factor back in there…when this does work I’ll be able to surprise people and tell them I’m pregnant.
Speaking of that. For the few family and friends that have my blog link and read this, I need you to make a promise for me [MOM!!!!! 🙂 ]. When I have good news to share I would REALLY appreciate it that you keep this said good news to yourself. A lot has been taken from me in this whole process and the surprise factor is one of them things I wish I could have [I would love to have my dignity back, too, but that is apparently long gone…]. This time I want it. I want to be able to see people’s reactions face to face and not a fake surprise because they had already found out through the grape vine. Please don’t ruin this for me. I have my ideas on when I would like to do this and it would be close to the end of the first trimester.
Finally, I had an awesome dream. I had a dream I had an ultrasound and they found two perfect babies. Two beautiful faces. I actually dreamed they were both boys and for some reason one had blonde hair and one had brown hair, weird I know but that was everything I saw. For some reason Joe wasn’t with me at the appointment and I got to tell him in person that we were having twins and he was blown away.
I am praying that this dream of mine comes true.
Keep them prayers and sticky vibes coming!! I am truly grateful for them all ❤