Today, in the midst of a terrible heartache, I had to find the strength to pick myself up, wipe my tears, and head in for a scan and to discuss the next step. I was given the all clear to start bcp and in about two weeks (pending the funding is there) I will begin approximately 4 weeks of Lupron injections for suppression. Towards the end I will add in estrogen pills and progesterone pessaries.
I had requested putting all 3 embryos back in but my doctor thinks with the high quality of the 3 frozen blasts, my chances are way too high for multiples. She believes that these babies are strong enough to make it.
The grading on the 3 totcicles are as follows: 1 AB1 (our strongest who started hatching on its own already – this grading is excellent), 1 AB2 which is pretty damn good, and 1 BB2 which is still pretty good. The grading is on a scale of A-D and 1-4.
I need for this to work. I believe it will work. They are so strong. So hopefully in 6-8 weeks I will be meeting these babies again and praying that they stick. The only thing the doctor thinks went wrong is in the 3 day transfer it’s a guessing game as to what will make it to blast…the three they put back in were probably not as strong as the ones frozen…and at least one of the blasts frozen was only 4 cell on day 3 so this was not even thought to be a front runner.
I have deactivated my Facebook account for the time being, this was a lucky sock in our cycle with BOB so I am doing it again…it helped mentally, too.
How am I? Shitty. That’s how I am. But I can’t let this stop me when I know we have 3 perfect embryos in the freezer waiting to call me mom.