1 More Sleep and Cold


Tomorrow.  Tomorrow is FINALLY the day.  Tomorrow is my Beta.

Am I nervous?

I am scared shitless.

But I am hopeful.

This cycle has been so different than my previous two so if I had to guess based on how I felt I couldn’t even answer.  At this point I am holding onto one small thing that was my tell tale last time that seems to be the same now.  I’m not going to reveal what that one thing is today.

Tomorrow I am working from home because for the first time I want to be the one who gets the results first.  If I thought it was negative I wouldn’t want to be the one to get the call but deep down I know I have something in there…growing…ready to be my rainbow(s).

I keep having dreams of twins on the ultrasound screen.  I keep dreaming I am telling the new nurse who is showing me these two babies that this wasn’t my first and I pull out the last picture I have of BOB.  I tell her how he is and always will be my first baby and how much I love him.  I tell her how I am scared to death of being pregnant again because I don’t want to lose them like I lost BOB.  These have been my dreams for the last week.

It feels like I am starting to get a cold, which isn’t a surprise since we are changing seasons…I always seem to catch something when the weather changes.  Let’s see if this cold actually hits or if it is going to linger and bother me.

I need lots of thoughts and prayers and good vibes for tomorrow.  I am nervous.  I really really hope to be giving everyone good news tomorrow afternoon!

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