Fighting for my Rainbow Baby


Firstly, I know some people who read my blog are not going to know what a Rainbow Baby is…so, here’s the definition:

A “rainbow baby” is a baby that is born following a miscarriage or still birth.

In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.

(I’m crying a little with this…mom probably knows why based on a picture I sent her a couple weeks ago…)

We received the results of the chromosomal/genetic testing on the baby.  It turns out that there was nothing genetically wrong with BOB; however, there was a chromosomal anomaly with the 45th chromosome…the “sex” gene…it came up 45,X which means that BOB was missing either an X or a Y and more than 99% of the time this leads to miscarriage (this is also known as Turner Syndrome).  This is a random event that occurs when the DNA is being coded…there is NOTHING either one of us could have done to prevent this…this is nothing that is passed down from either of us…it just happened randomly.  BOB still has no gender, but I have come to terms with that…BOB will always be BOB and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  This whole situation truly sucks; however the good news that came out of this was there was nothing that came from either mine or Joe’s genes that caused this which means that there is nothing wrong with either of us (genetically)…and that’s a good thing.  This is one of the most common causes of miscarriage and even two perfectly healthy, normal, fertile people experience this…so…yeah…they say not to be concerned but you can’t tell an infertile couple not to worry…it’s like telling a dog not to piss on a fire hydrant…it’s just NOT going to happen.

I was down in the dumps a little bit yesterday because just knowing that there was something wrong with my baby was hard to hear…I was trying to find the good in this and now that I have I can come to terms with the whole situation.  Now it’s time for me to step up and start fighting.  God willing, I will have my rainbow baby.

After the weekend is over and my distractions have ended I will be focusing all of my time on preparing for this.  I need to come up with a list of questions for my doctor on our review appointment (7/30).  I need to start getting the medication in order in preparation of the next cycle.  I need to make sure that my house is only stocked with good things.  I want to try an all natural diet to make sure I am the healthiest I can be for my baby.  I need to make sure Joe is healthy, too, so he doesn’t end up back in the hospital and scaring the ever living hell out of me again.  I need to get active so that I can stay active during pregnancy.

I have seen infertility, treatments, and the costs associated with it break apart marriages…and I don’t understand how.  I have never felt closer to my husband than I do right now.  I thought the same thing during the first round, and then the second round, and then when I was pregnant, and now going through this loss together has just solidified that there is no tearing us apart.  We are both fighting for the same thing and I will not stop until I give my husband what he deserves.

I love you, Darling.  I love you BOB.  I will not stop fighting.

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8 thoughts on “Fighting for my Rainbow Baby

  1. I think you have the right mindset for moving forward and you are very fortunate with the bond that you and your husband have. I had a lot harder time since I felt like my marriage was depending on success (we were one of the couples who almost didn’t survive the “infertility test”), the stress and anxiety was terrible. The strength you two have will make everything in the end so much better!

    I know everyone has their “tricks” to mentally and physically prepare for IVF and I thought I’d share mine in case it can help at all…

    1. Gave up tofu and tuna and started eating chicken (we used to be mostly vegetarian with a little seafood)

    2. No caffeine, chocolate, coffee ect 😦

    3. Supplements – Royal Jelly, Vitamin D, Baby Asprin and a Prenatal before the retrieval, starting day of the retrieval for 7 days after I took pineapple supplements and ate and drank some form of it every day (it is supposed to help with inplantation)

    4. Day at the Spa the week before to relax

    5. A good massage (for me way more effective and pleasurable than acupuncture)

    6. Plan at least 48-72 hours of bedrest after the transfer

    7. Follow doctors instructions to a “T”

    8. Pray a lot and visualize about the future you want…

    I wish all infertile couples a happy ending to the struggle with this terrible disease!!!!

    • I see you fixed the routing of your blog when I click on your name 😉

      1. DONE! lol I don’t like tuna but I do like tofu…I haven’t had it in a few months so I won’t pick it back up again until I pop a baby out 🙂 – I wasn’t even aware tofu was not a good thing to eat so thank you very much for that advise
      2. For the most part, Done. I have very little caffeine each day but I set some goals to accomplish starting Monday and the little caffeine intake I do have daily will be wiped from the slate beginning then…the chocolate part is easy…I don’t eat it anyways 🙂
      3. I’ve never stopped the vitamins…have been on them for years and have a very powerful prenatal my doctor prescribed that I’ve been taking for going on a year now…I don’t plan on stopping that. I take baby aspirin starting day 1 of treatments as the effect kicks in immediately – this is following doctors orders. GREAT idea on the pineapple…never thought of that one! Good thing I like the taste and they are in season! But what is Royal Jelly and what does it do?
      4. I wish…I just let Joe massage me and pretend I am at the spa. Money is diverted elsewhere for now.
      5. ^^
      6. I self prescribed 2 additional days of bed rest in addition of the 24hrs they told me last time…I will not change what I did last time as it seemed to have amazing results so I am definitely with you on this one!
      7. Always do ❤
      8. Also did this last time and will continue to do so.

      Very helpful list.

      • Ok I think I fixed it…

        Answers to questions…

        1. Soy products and tofu are known to mess with a woman’s estrogen levels and to decrease fertility in men. Soy can increase menstrual cycle length, decrease FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone) and decrease LH (leutinizing hormone). It has also shown to decrease sperm count in men.

        2. Royal Jelly is a form of honey that is a food for the queen bee. You can buy it at health food stores. It comes in the honey form or a pill. The honey form is a bit stronger but I couldn’t handle the sweetness (it needs to be taken straight and at room temperature). I found tons of woman that swore by it on different websites, the general feeling is that it improves egg quality. The pill I took also had Ginseng in it (Y.S. Eco Bee Farms is the brand), I think you can also get it at GNC. I took 1 pill or spoonful each day.

        3. The Pineapple enzymes are another one I found lots of woman swearing by. Trader Joe’s has one. It is the core that is supposed to be the most helpful so I took 1 pill and then drank some juice or ate some of the fruit every day.

        Here’s to good news in the future!

    • well…it WAS fixed…I swear I clicked on your name 2 minutes ago and it went to your blog and now it is doing the same thing as every other time…=/

  2. Thinking of you guys. This whole process sucks, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. (Also – a person born with Turner’s syndrome is always female – since they don’t have a Y – not sure if you think that would apply to your BOB or not since you don’t know what the missing chromosome would have been).

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