I need to get my head back in the game

Tuesdays are a really bad day for me anymore.  This is when my weekly blood draw is to make sure my levels continue to decline and track them until they are a negative.  They are close (271) but it seems another couple weeks of bad Tuesdays are in store for me…then the hysteroscopy.

Once this is all done we will be cleared to start the next cycle whenever we want.  I want to start immediately.  I need to focus on something.  I want to focus all of my attention on this and I will make sure that I am doing everything right.

I just want to be that happy again…it felt so good.

I also need to stop reading birth stories for now.  I just read one that made me a total blubbering mess and laughing at the same time.  Thank God I am at work 2 hours before anyone else shows up because they would think I am nuts.  Maybe I will read them again in a couple weeks, when I am a little bit stronger…


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