Levels are dropping

I had to go for my first weekly blood test today so they can trace my HCG levels to a negative.  It dropped from over 77,000 last week to 1,392 today.  This is something I definitely did not want to do today and I had to do it alone because Joe is sick.  All I wanted today was a hand to hold and I had to do this all by myself and it was incredibly difficult to walk back in the office all alone and face the staff after saying my good-bye’s to them a couple weeks ago.

Although it’s nice to know that my levels are coming down as they should be it just futher solidifies that I am, in fact, no longer pregnant.  I just keep thinking that I am having a nightmare I can’t wake up from.

Right now we are taking steps towards the next round.  We were fortunate enough for the last 3 years to not have to take a loan out for any of the treatments or procedures but our good fortune has run out.  I have enough to cover the meds and we have decided to finance the next round.  We are looking for ways to cut corners around the house, I will probably be trading my car in for a lease at the end of the month to cut my car payments down drastically.

Once we are cleared after all my levels drop and the hysteroscopy is performed I do want to start right back up as soon as possible.  My doctor is 100% ok with that so I will do everything in my power to try to be as ready as I can be.

I need to get out of this depressing state I am in and just look at the positives.  The good that came out of this is that we know it can work, the proof I carried for 9 weeks.  We just need to figure out what went wrong and take precautionary steps from there.  There is still no news about the chromosomal or genetic tests that were performed but I didn’t expect anything this quick…

Other than that, I have nothing new to add.


5 thoughts on “Levels are dropping

  1. I wish I had words the words to offer at least a little balm for the soul but alas… I am so sad about BOB but am heartened that you are still focused on moving forward. Hope you have some info soon. It wont take away the pain but it helps to redirect for the next round.

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