I had to go for my first weekly blood test today so they can trace my HCG levels to a negative. It dropped from over 77,000 last week to 1,392 today. This is something I definitely did not want to do today and I had to do it alone because Joe is sick. All I wanted today was a hand to hold and I had to do this all by myself and it was incredibly difficult to walk back in the office all alone and face the staff after saying my good-bye’s to them a couple weeks ago.
Although it’s nice to know that my levels are coming down as they should be it just futher solidifies that I am, in fact, no longer pregnant. I just keep thinking that I am having a nightmare I can’t wake up from.
Right now we are taking steps towards the next round. We were fortunate enough for the last 3 years to not have to take a loan out for any of the treatments or procedures but our good fortune has run out. I have enough to cover the meds and we have decided to finance the next round. We are looking for ways to cut corners around the house, I will probably be trading my car in for a lease at the end of the month to cut my car payments down drastically.
Once we are cleared after all my levels drop and the hysteroscopy is performed I do want to start right back up as soon as possible. My doctor is 100% ok with that so I will do everything in my power to try to be as ready as I can be.
I need to get out of this depressing state I am in and just look at the positives. The good that came out of this is that we know it can work, the proof I carried for 9 weeks. We just need to figure out what went wrong and take precautionary steps from there. There is still no news about the chromosomal or genetic tests that were performed but I didn’t expect anything this quick…
Other than that, I have nothing new to add.