5 Weeks – Scared and In Love

I’m officially 5 weeks pregnant today (according to when I started my treatments).  On Friday at 1:30 I will be seeing my babies for the first time and possibly getting an actual due date!  At this point I can have 8 in there and I would be happy as pie, I want whatever I am given, anything we get is a blessing.  I think I heard the nurse say I get to see the babies a few times before I graduate from my RE’s office…I hope that’s true!  The strange part is I feel fantastic…I’m not really feeling sick at all, I have gagged a few times but that’s about it.  I am falling asleep noticeably earlier…Joe keeps telling the babies they are whooping my butt but I only feel exhausted when I eat…other than that I feel fantastic.  It is still wayyyy early to feel anything more than that, though.  I don’t think morning sickness usually takes its affect until at least 6 weeks when there is lots of hcg in the system.

I am scared over everything…I want to keep these babies safe and sound and every little thing is scaring me!  I don’t want to sneeze too hard, I don’t want to gag any more, I don’t want to accidentally bump my belly off of anything…I don’t want to eat the wrong thing or drink the wrong thing…I’m scared to death.  I have heard that this is a normal reaction for people who have gone through ART because we have gone through so much to get to this point we don’t want anything to happen.

I am so in love with these babies already.  I can honestly say I am STILL in shock, this is so surreal.  More people have cried for me than I did when I found out…I had literally 1 tear.  I have a feeling that on Friday there are going to be water works when we finally get to see them!  But I feel majorly protective already, I am constantly holding my lower abdomen, I don’t want them harmed…I don’t know what they look like or how many are in there or anything about them at all but I love them very much.  I loved them before they even existed and having them grow inside me is just amplifying it.  This is going to be the longest week ever until I get to see them.  There’s no more blood work since I am over 1,000 mIU/ml (1,128 was the measurement of my 4th and Final Beta)

And to end this…here’s the first of many pictures of my progress…I’ve asked Joe to take a pic each Saturday.  Now I just have to learn how to stand so I don’t look awkwardly square lol…maybe I should set up the tripod and use my transmitter on my cell phone to see how I look before the picture is taken…minor details…but without further ado, here’s a picture of me at 4 weeks & 4 days 🙂


Here’s a mirror shot so you can see I am definitely not awkwardly square lol!

4w4d 2


2 thoughts on “5 Weeks – Scared and In Love

  1. Congratulations! That is so exciting! I hope you have a smooth pregnancy and you don’t end up having morning sickness – it’s not very fun, but soo worth it!!
    I’m having a give away at the moment, and you might be interested in entering for the little addition to your family!
    Looking forward to following the rest of your pregnancy! All the best!

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