Running away from bad thoughts


Tomorrow morning is my Beta and my head is racing.  I am still very hopeful and positive but every once in a while something not so positive pops in my head and I quickly erase it.  I think I am so used to negative outcomes that it just comes natural to think of all the possibilities (good, bad, or indifferent).

One thing I am doing good at this time around is not testing early.  Last time I was devastated when I did take an HPT a couple days before the blood test and there was a negative.  I tried not to let it ruin my next couple days but I just kept thinking about it.  I knew it could have been too early to tell but at that point it was implanted in my head that we had failed…I just knew it.

This time I am keeping my head up, I just know this is happening…I have a sneaky suspicion.  I feel like I am in puppy love right now, that fluttery feeling in my chest (could be nerves but it kind of feels good)…that’s what’s making me feel so positive.

Come on my babies…lets make this happen!  Let’s prove that we can get this done.

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