Today I am officially 6dp3dt and a mere 5 days away from my Beta test.
I had to step away for a second and just laugh at myself. I find myself googling the most random things…every little thing I think is a “sign”…every little worry…what everyone else has felt like whether positive or negative. What is wrong with me? Obsess much? Why can’t I just stick with me being positive about this and ignore everything else? I swear, infertility causes the crazies to come out in full force during the 2ww ESPECIALLY after something as big as ICSI!
I know for a FACT that everyone is different. I KNOW THIS…yet I still obsess over other people’s “symptoms”. I know for a FACT that IVF side effects are far more prevalent than the early pregnancy symptoms and are often confused. I know all the possible side effects of Progesterone are what I am feeling right now but I still clench on to the hope that this is something else. I don’t want to hope, I want to know.
I am sticking with the positive thoughts. I am going to try to break this addiction of consulting Dr. Google, who, by the way, does NOT have a PhD in crazy infertile obsessive information seeking and merely provides anything and everything without filter…the good the bad and the ugly. FU Dr. Google…someone should take your license away! You are not helpful! I could be dying according to you!
That was my rant for the day.
How am I feeling? Aside from the slight nausea this morning and everything remaining the same as what I had previously posted about…I feel fantastic still. I am still very positive that I have babies growing inside me as I type…I’m just stuck in slow motion as the days feel like weeks, the hours feel like days, and the minutes feel like hours counting down to my first Beta.
On a wonderful note, I get to see my family on Mother’s Day weekend! We’re bringing a bed up for my sister (That I swear I will not lift a finger helping! I don’t want to risk hurting one of my babies! It’s all you, Darlin…), I have a little something for my Mama for being my Mama, I get to hang out with the nieces and nephews, and stay with my brother while eating some delicious wings that I have missed so dearly since moving. I. Can’t. Wait!
You probably won’t be hearing from me until after the weekend so have a great weekend everyone 🙂
I’d like to think I am not the only obsessive one…is anyone else as crazy as I am? Have you done anything EXTRA crazy you’d like to share so I don’t feel so alone? It could make you [and me] get the laugh we need for the day!