No Longer Speechless…


Yesterday I had a difficult time thinking of something to write…Today, not so much.

I just had a little reminder of my batman and robin.

I was doing what I do every morning, reading through the blogs I subscribe to and also reading under the search term “IVF” and “Infertility” to discover new ones.  When reading the ones I subscribe to I came across a few that I subscribed to that I followed because they were pretty close to the start time of my last IVF cycle.  There have been anatomy scans and beautiful ultrasound pictures…it made me think that if the last one stuck I could have soon found out what my little batman and robin’s genders were.  I could have started calling them by real names.  I could have felt them moving around and kicking.  This makes me so sad and it also makes me so scared for the next round as I just got a reminder of how devastated I was when it didn’t work.

I need to stay positive and I need to stay hopeful.  I want this more than anything.  Hopefully less than two weeks to go before we start the long protocol, last time we were on the short protocol and it felt so jumbled and rushed so hopefully this one will be more relaxing and easy to handle since we are very prepared this time.

Oh, good news, well…good for the situation…we got $1,000.00 knocked off our bill because the co-culture was not successful…instead of paying $2,000.00 for the biopsy, blood draw, and freeze I only have to pay $1,000.00 because the sample couldn’t be cryogenicly frozen.  It sucks to have to pay anything at all on it but I did have a rather large blood draw, they did extract cells they need to make a serum, and I did have a procedure in the office so I guess I have to pay for all of that.

Finally, I hope the compliment I received yesterday counts as my good deed…I always try to be nice and helpful to anyone who needs me.  I held the door for a woman with a cane yesterday and I told her to hold on as I would grab the other door as well.  The woman looked at me and said “You are a nice, kind woman.  You are a good woman and there’s not many of you left in this world.” I was very happy hearing that as no one ever says that to me…I usually get the no eye contact “thanks” and that’s it.

Maybe my kindness is ready to be rewarded…

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